Along with the release of a new version of his song “Blue Side,” BTS‘s J-Hope released a sentimental message to fans on BTS’s blog where he reflects on his past.

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Coinciding with the release of his 2018 mixtape Hope World three years ago, he discusses his mindset from back then.

It’s March 2. It has been three years since the Hope World mixtape came to life.

Back then, I think I was in a rush to let everyone hear my music. So I let creativity take over and let my body do whatever it wanted to do. I remember, I wrote whatever came to mind as it did.

— J-Hope

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Now that I listen and look back, I feel a little embarrassed about it. Haha. But I know that the courage and the mindset I had back then is what led to the birth of the mixtape that is Hope World.

Sometimes I miss those times. The times when I was an innocent boy, putting out string of music about whatever was on my mind.

— J-Hope

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He reveals these nostalgic feelings are what drove him to connect with his past self and finish “Blue Side.”

And that sentiment is probably why I decided to complete Blue Side. I mean, everyone has these moments…of missing the past and wanting to connect to it. I think I’m in that moment right now.

I used to be so naïve, so clueless back then. And working on this, I was able to paint…re-create that young, do-as-I-wish version of myself.

I know I can’t go back, but I want to embrace the younger version of me — so that I can embrace the current version of me. It’s like the past comforting the present. I need that safe space, a blue side, where I can cool off and come to my senses, especially when I’m at my hottest.

— J-Hope

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J-Hope reveals the theme of the song may have been too big of a task for him to express through music in years prior and his evident growth as an artist has now lead him to complete the song.

And as time went on, I was also able to realize why I couldn’t finish writing this song. It came too early and the message I wanted to deliver may have been a bit overwhelming for me at the time. But I also think I knew, in fate, that one day I’d be able to learn and know the answer.

It may be only one track, for the time being, but I wanted to show you that I’m maturing in my music. I released it as a promise that I’ll continue to build and grow.

Please, I hope it gets cherished. I hope you enjoy.

— J-Hope

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Listen to the song below.