As celebrities, it is always hard to know when to cut off personal life from life in front of the camera. For BTS‘s leader RM, this was his biggest dilemma.

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He wanted to break this way of thinking and be true to himself. “Since debut, I’ve always emphasized that I just want to keep talking, person-to-person, and I fight all the time about this. Honestly, I am someone that thinks like this and has this kind of appearance, but am afraid that people won’t like it. I want to break this way of thinking.”

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Being someone that loves to talk and share what he’s thinking with people, he was always stuck on whether or not he should say certain things.

Kim Nam Joon is someone who likes to see nature, walk around alone, meet up with friends for a drink, but I didn’t have enough time to be Kim Nam Joon. Physically. This is always so hard. When I put on makeup and stand in front of the camera, I wonder how honest I should be…this is my biggest dilemma that I am working on. It might be better for me to save my words and leaving a bit of space for people, but that just isn’t my style.

⁠— RM, Burn The Stage Episode 6

People always tell me that it’s the celebrity that gives the controversy and interpretation for people to talk about. If I were smart I would want to do it like that. But I’m not someone who can and I think there are other people who can do that. I am someone who always wants to talk to people and tell them my problems and listen to others stories and use them to create music. Like this, I want to keep talking about something.

⁠— RM, Burn The Stage Episode 6

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Luckily, he was able to break through his dilemma and share his thoughts and stories through music and had fans that were ready to listen.

All of my thoughts, ponderings, and worries were not just meaningless and useless. I am so grateful and happy that I feel that I am in solidarity with the world with so many people listening, empathizing, and giving feedback.

— RM, Naver Live Stream

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He even once asked his mentor if he was strange for having so many useless thoughts. The teacher’s response gave him consolation and peace, “At a young age, a person has so many thoughts and wants to stretch out the branches and talk about himself. As much as those branches have stretched out, it will be confusing and painful now, but as they turn 30 and 40, the branches will be pruned and shaped to become a large and beautiful tree.”

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When you listen to BTS’s songs, you can see that they do not sugar-coat certain things, and instead, blatantly call out things that are on their mind. From mental health to societal issues, they are not afraid to talk about it.

Maybe life is not the process of finding things that shine and sparkle out of the little things, but knowing and that those little things were really the shining moments.

— RM