On January 28, Super Junior’s Heechul met up with Girls’ Generation’s Taeyeon on her show, Petionista Taengoo, to talk about life’s problems. Naturally, conversation soon turned to his relationship with TWICE’s Momo, and Heechul revealed that the way fans reacted made him feel guilty and even impacted his decision to release a solo album.

 

The topic of Momo first came up when Heechul was talking about his old dog, Zorr. Heechul one revealed that Zorr (Joreu in Korean) was named after Momo’s famous line from “Cheer Up”—“joreujima…”. However, he insists that they definitely weren’t dating back then.

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Heechul with Zorr.

There are lots of speculations going around. “They seem like they’ve been together over 3 years”, “I think it’s been 2 years.” There are so many speculations like that. Honestly, we didn’t know each other back then.

— Heechul

Heechul then went on to talk about how fans reacted to the news. Since fans often take idol dating news hard, it’s no surprise Heechul felt sorry after his relationship was revealed.

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For our fans and her fans… I feel really sorry. But they congratulated us a lot.

— Heechul

While Heechul’s fans were trying to inspire him with a positive reaction, his feelings ended up being the opposite: guilt.

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When there was that recent issue [of dating Momo], the public and my fans who could have been upset said, “It’s OK, this isn’t that big of a deal”. “Thank you, we’ll always be rooting for you”. This kind of response made me feel kind of guilty.

— Heechul

For Heechul, the outpouring of love was more than he ever expected. He knew many of his fans must have been upset in private, but they were still putting on a brave face to support him. He went on to imply that he felt undeserving of all that love and support at such a difficult time, and it even made him question whether he should be famous at all.

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I can only hold this much love, but after this incident, so many fans showed me love and I felt sorry to receive all that. So I thought, “I might not have what it takes to be a celebrity”.

— Heechul

Taeyeon, who has always been a friend of Heechul’s, offered him some comforting and teasing words to lighten the mood: “Crazy people like you should be celebrities.”

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Taeyeon and Heechul.

Of course, fans just want their idol to be happy. Many are hoping he can overcome his feelings of guilt because his true fans will always truly support him.

But guilt wasn’t Heechul’s only reaction to the reveal of his dating news. On top of that, he even cancelled the solo album he’d been working on.

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I said that I wouldn’t talk about this on any program. I had worked on a solo album. I had the song ready … the title was “Flower Petal”.

— Heechul

Heechul explained that “flower petal” is his fandom name. When he acted in Sharp 2, he was known as the “pretty boy”. In Korean, the word is kkonminan, which literally translates to “handsome flower boy”. Since his fans were always around him, he began calling them Petals.

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Heechul in “Sharp 2”

However, despite the name, the song wasn’t dedicated to his fans alone. So, after his relationship with Momo went public, Heechul decided not to release the solo album at all in case fans misunderstood and felt more hurt.

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It wasn’t a song dedicated to my fans only, but it was about flowers and flower petals. And then after the incident, I decided not to release a solo album … I wanted to block anything that could be misinterpreted.

— Heechul

When Heechul informed SM Entertainment that he wouldn’t be releasing a solo right now, he felt sad at first. But now, he thinks he made the right choice, and he’s optimistic about releasing it one day in the future.

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I won’t be able to sing the song in the voice I have now at age 38 but still… If I can sing later… I’m trying to be positive. I’ve turned into a really positive person.

— Heechul