Ladies’ Code‘s Sojung recently appeared on JTBC‘s Sing Again where she showed off her vocal abilities as contestant number 11.

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And following her performance, she opened up about her devastating story and expressed what she wanted to become in the years to come.

I want to become a singer who can smile again. I debuted in a 5-member group, but after an accident, we ended up becoming a 3-member group. My heart ached even more when people saw us on TV and called us the pitiful group.

— Sojung

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That’s when Yoo Hee Yeol remembered the fatal car crash that took the lives of late EunB and RiSe.

I don’t know how to say this, but your performance was amazing. You’ve been through something very difficult. We didn’t know at first, but when you told us your group name, I remembered.

— Yoo Hee Yeol

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Sojung then went on to share the hardest part about what followed after the accident.

When we began working again after the accident, the empty spots were so apparent. I often wondered if it was okay for us to smile on stage.

— Sojung

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What’s devastating is the fact that because of what happened, she doesn’t feel like she can fulfill the role of an idol.

We perform on stage to give our fans happiness. But we felt like we didn’t deserve to smile.

— Sojung

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Furthermore, Sojung confessed that she’s still receiving psychotherapy and taking medications to this day.

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The fatal car accident took place back in 2014.

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Watch Sojung’s full confession below: