As winter slowly approaches, fans of SHINee have started to reminisce and bring back memories of Jonghyun.

Jonghyun was the DJ of MBC FM4U’s Blue Night for three years before stepping down in 2017. He initially started hosting the show in order to create a place where people could come and rest their hearts.

radio2
| @minwols/Twitter

An online community board posted past anonymous messages that were sent to the radio program as they showed support and understanding for Jonghyun.

One message that was found on his Instagram gained much attention online.

message

Jonghyun, I like your anxiety. Your melancholy is clear. Don’t think that people will dislike your dark side. I like you because I think that even your darkness is brilliant. It’s okay to hide yourself inside your depression all you want. I won’t try to get you out of it. I will just wait for your winter. I don’t know why I tried so hard to show you the spring. I don’t know why I forced you to be bright, even brighter.

 

I’m sorry. I should have known that even the winter is a part of who you are. But Jonghyun, after seeing you for seven years I finally get it. Your spring and winter are both beautiful. You are beautiful even in the light and in the darkness. You can be depressed all you want and be cold all you want. I will just look on. Because I know you will bring the warm spring someday. I love all your seasons Jonghyun.

In a later broadcast, he brings up the comment mentioned above and states he was inspired by those words to create a song.

message2

The song that I have for you today is my song. It’s a song that has a bit more melancholy than my other songs. A fan wrote a message to me before. I’ve always had a bit of melancholy and depression since I was young, and of course I would talk about bright things too but I never hid my depression. There is no need for us to always be happy. If there are bright people there are dark people and I am one of those people…

⁠— Jonghyun

radio
| @temps_de_rever/Twitter

A fan once said to me (refer to above Instagram message translation) and I was inspired by those words and am thankful to that person as it allowed me to write this song. This song is not a love song. There is only one person that listens to it. It is something that I have done for myself…

⁠— Jonghyun

The song he was referring to was “Elevator” from his second compilation album, Story Op. 2.

During his last radio session, he was found holding back tears as he read the last text message sent to the show.

“Jonghyun-ah, thank you for always being in a place where we could find you. You gave us a lot of strength, you know that right? You mean a lot to me. Please always be glad and happy.” 

We will always remember Jonghyun for never hiding who he was and for always being apologetically himself.