I probably shouldn’t be writing right now, I’ve just spent several hours of valuable bludging time going through chemical reaction equations and discussing terms like toughness, materials, and fractures for a material sciences report. Frankly my mind is still quite squarely in “must be serious” mode, not a great mode to be in when there is so many random articles to sink my yellowing teeth into. Ah well I’m sure I’ll get into the swing of things as I write, it would be hard to avoid considering the articles today will be related to April Fools, Celebrity Children, SNSD refuses to be beaten by Kara, why YG now means “strange” to me and kaa~~ Girl’s Day Fanboy-ing.

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April Fools! The one day where logic is thrown away for lols.

Ah April the 1st, how I despise this date sometimes. It’s the one date where you cannot go around anywhere without being suspicious about everything you see and hear. For a lazy guy like me, having to recheck everything to make sure it’s actually true and not a prank is a tedious endeavor that I much rather spend doing more productive stuff like …umm…stuff. Anyhow celebrities also love to get involved in the April Fools action and we had some “brilliant” pranks this year. We had Lee Teuk reveal his phone number on Twitter, followed up by the frankly obvious fan implosion that happened afterwards, with Kim Hee Chul revealing a picture of Lee Teuk’s phone with the hundreds of missed calls etc, the trouble this little prank has caused for an unrelated 3rd party and SM Entertainment also announcing that the phone number was real, shocking no one at that point.  We’ve also had CL “confess” that she got double eyelid surgery, IU “confessing” that she had a boyfriend on Inkigayo, a fan creating a fake article about how Won Bin was getting married and the traditional “Completely transform the fan page” pranks, of which we had Han Ga In’s fan page transformed into a BIGBANG fan site due to her confession that she is a big G-Dragon fan and Super Junior’s Fan Page being transformed into a Shinhwa fan page etc etc.

This is probably the best K-pop related April Fools this year, which isn’t saying a lot frankly.

So how do I rate this year’s celebrity April Fools pranks? Not highly that’s for sure. Don’t take it the wrong way; some of them at least made me smirk a bit but nothing was really laugh out loud hilarious. For one, Lee Teuk’s “prank” wasn’t really a prank. If the phone number he revealed was say the phone number for some random answering machine that played the Rick Roll song, that would have been a nice prank. Revealing your own phone number and having your phone swamped to the point of being unusable, that’s just like setting up a bucket of water above a door and then casually walking through the door yourself purposely, that’s just weird and hardly what I would call top quality humor. If it was done accidentally and said person now has a massive expression of shock on their face with water dripping down their head, very funny, doing it purposely for the sake of attention, not so much.

She is dressed like Cleopatra! She must be telling the truth!

The other pranks weren’t that much better thou, IU and CL confessing something only to immediately have it revealed as “lol prank” kind of lessens the joke and to be honest, I bet IU’s “confession” caused a spate of heart-attacks across the nation as all those uncle fans succumbed to the shock of the news followed by the biggest sigh of relief the country has ever heard. Yeah yeah I know that some people just go for shock value for their April Fools pranks but some humor wouldn’t go a bit amiss will it? I think we are lacking in a bit of humor in the entertainment industry lately, Lee Si Young actually got into some trouble for saying that she will “cut her wrist” if the drama “Rooftop Prince” beats out “The King 2hearts.” Sigh whatever happened to dark sarcastic humor? If I say something like “I’m soo full that I could die,” I’m not ACTUALLY going to die, nor am I going to kill myself when I say “If I see those two again, I’m going to do a sword swallowing trick with a meat cleaver.” Seriously netizens of the Korean interwebs, let’s lighten up a bit shall we? Anyway all these celebrities now have a year to prepare for next year’s April Fools, if I don’t see at least one celebrity plan a prank involving cameras, rubber chickens, flash mobs and crayon I’m going to be very disappointed.

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Kim Tae Woo and Shin Se Kyung don’t want their children to be like them, I cautiously agree.

I just love it when we get 2 articles that are related to each so perfectly like this. We had Kim Tae Woo wish that his daughter won’t end up looking like him, while we had Shin Se Kyung saying that she wished her daughter didn’t have the same personality as them. As a third party observer and one of dubious significance in the grand scheme of things, I cautiously agree with both assessments, more so the former rather than the latter.

Kim Tae Won and Lee Yoo Erin, are they perhaps Kim Tae Woo’s daughters from the future?

Just imagine the scene, you are walking down the street and you happen to see Kim Tae Woo’s family walking down the street in front of you. You cautiously go up to them to do whatever fans need to do when they see a celebrity, only to suddenly see 2 Kim Tae Woos, one with short hair and one with long hair before your brain kicks itself back to reality and you realize that Long Hair Kim Tae Woo is his daughter. Look I’m not saying that Kim Tae Woo is ugly by any major means but his face and body size definitely doesn’t work when thought of in a female perspective, you would end up with a girl that is 185cm tall, built like an Olympic Swimmer with a bushy face and a strange attraction to sunglasses. Actually that sounds a lot like Boohwal Leader Kim Tae Won, hmm perhaps he is Kim Tae Woo’s daughter from the future? As for Shin Sae Kyung’s comment, to be honest I haven’t seen enough of her personality to really judge her but I guess it can’t be THAT bad right?

Warning: Significant quantity of awesome genes in this picture

Actually there is one couple that I’m looking forward to in terms of awesome children and that is Tablo and Kang Hye Jung. Kang Hye Jung recently stated that “Being Married is really awesome,” and we all know how talented both of them are. They also look-a-like in some ways, with both of them having this cutesy young look to them, personally that sounds like an awesome combination of genes to pass on to the next generation. Pretty much the only gene they might not get is the “being taller than 170cm” gene but then again height isn’t important right? Right?


SNSD refuses to be beaten by Kara! You have covered faces? We have them too!

I don’t know how to classify this, would this be luck, skill or some sort of evil plot in the industry? Kara’s Goo Hara seems to get her face obscured quite a lot of times by onscreen pictures as a recent article can attest to, so many times in fact that I’m beginning to wonder if she has a strange sixth sense that allows her to find a location to a millimeter precision that will allow for the maximum amount of facial coverage, kinda like how a pigeon uses some sort of sense to travel with pin point precision. However SNSD aren’t ones that like being defeated in anything, no they must dominate in every aspect of entertainment and they cannot let Kara take the “face coverage” prize to themselves, so they have obviously genetically modified Seohyun to have the same face coverage sixth sense, with a recent article revealing how successful that modification has been, nearly as good as Hara actually.

At this stage, it’s kind of hard to say that this is down to just “pure luck”

Yeah yeah I know Seohyun’s ones are probably a bit older and that SNSD isn’t actually genetically modifying their youngest member to win some absurd honor but never let facts get in the way of absurd fictional story telling. And anyway both groups have been pretty busy in terms of real metrics as well. Yoona has been busy recording her new drama “Love Rain,” with the first set of episodes airing last week, albeit not to the best of receptions. However Yoona claimed that she could seduce us within 3 seconds through a set of pictures she posted. I think my brain might be broken thou because all I thought was “aww~ how cute” rather than “that is so seductive.” Meanwhile Kara hopes to sell 1 million albums in Japan and they have also celebrated their 5th anniversary, wasn’t the smoothest of 5 years mind you but it’s an amazing milestone nonetheless.

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Look, as long as she hasn’t surgically implanted horns into her forehead, i really couldn’t care less.

Surprisingly the whole face coverage thing wasn’t the only thing that the two groups were competing in; Kara’s Han Seung Yeon and SNSD’s Jessica were both involved in allegations of plastic surgery in pretty quick succession. Call me naive but I’m not quite sure how either of them could have possibly gotten surgery, it’s not like either of them are relative unknowns or do they have long gaps in their schedules away from public eyes. If Han Seung Yeun had really gotten her chin shaved slightly, would it take a few weeks for the swelling to die down to normality? Of course she could have done it ages ago but why are we only noticing it now? Actually I don’t think Kara has had any sort of long break since their debut, can’t really think of a time frame where she could have done something like this and then had the time to stay away from the public while the wounds healed. Yeah many people call me naive or it could perhaps just be that I don’t really care all that much. Who am I to tell someone that they can’t spend their own money to modify themselves, go right ahead but just make sure you use a good doctor. Anyway I wish both groups the best of luck in the future and I expect to see Hara’s sixth sense work flawlessly for many years to come.

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YG on “Strong Heart,” Reaffirms my belief that YG are a bit strange.

We had the YG Special on SBS “Strong Heart” last week and all it did was reaffirm my belief that YG are a somewhat strange group, not in a bad way mind you, just strange. We had CL reveal that YG CEO Yang Hyun Suk told them that they were ugly, Daesung revealing that Yang Hyun Suk isn’t the angel he is portrayed to be in “K Pop Star” and G-Dragon thinks T.O.P’s body is erotic. Ah yeah, I think some of you might already understand why I think YG is a bit batty nuggets.

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Looks like she rolled a 6 that day

I’m guessing I can say this without too many issues, but I do think that 2NE1 isn’t the best looking group around. Park Bom seems to look pretty depending on the roll of a dice (If she gets a 6, she’s pretty, any other number not so much), Sandra is honestly more known for being a bit fruity loopy while CL and Minzy could join the military right now and not look out of place. They obviously make up for this by being pretty talented which tends to be a YG trait to some degree with Talent usually being more important than outright looks, see PSY as an example. So in some ways, Yang Hyun Suk is just being brutally honest and he also seems to be one of the most approachable Agency CEO’s around, with JYP just edging him out in that regard. Most of the stories I’ve heard about the guy tend to lean towards this sort of brutal honest and humorous nature. In comparison we don’t tend to hear stories like this about SM Entertainment’s Lee Soo Man, which is a shame since he used to be a fairly popular MC in the old days, so he definitely has the wit to be a pretty decent topic of discussion.

Silly T.O.P, the red make up goes underneath your eyes

And finally G-Dragon thinks T.O.P’s body is erotic. Uh I actually don’t know what to say, this along with the SHINee teasers from a few weeks back have put me in this awkward position where I would like to make “lol gay” jokes for cheap laughs but fully aware that the topic of homosexuality is a serious topic of discussion that shouldn’t be devalued to such low levels but they are really testing my resolve right now. So I’m going to move to a T.O.P related topic that I can joke about, T.O.P’s absurd fashion sense on Inkigayo. So blue hair, blue suit and pink eyebrows or as I would like to call it, the “Blue Angry Bird” look. Some say it’s brave, some say it’s being ahead of the curve, I say it’s just being “YG,” and so from this point forward loony toony = YG for me.

Girls’ Day comeback is approaching, fan boying activate!

We had a news article a few days back about how Girls’ Day will be making a comeback soon.  As a fan boy I have only one thing to say…”Ka~~~~.” That is all. (Please spare some of your time and support them this time please? Just a little bit of support will do, pretty please?).  Some might ask why I like them so much and to that do I would answer “I don’t really know.” I just like them, I think their songs have been fairly decent, I think they have decent work ethics, I like the personality of each member and their leader is an ex-engineering student. Anyway I’ll probably mention them again in the future but until then I’ll do all my squealing away from prying eyes.